This guy is super weird lol
So, I figured my new motto for this year would be. “Fuck it.”
I mean, I’m going to the gym now. (For the sake of me not going out as much, and wanting to get in shape…because being the same size for the past five years is starting to get annoying lol)
I’m opening up to people and speaking up more…also, letting my attitude take the lead with assholes…which is working wonders.
Dressing up more the way I want, because I’ve always wanted to, but haven’t because of all those repressing years thinking how much male attention it could grab…now I think, “Fuck that. I like this dress, so I’m fucking wearing it!”
All in all, I’m much happier right now…although I have this gut feeling that I might get into trouble this year, get into conflict, get into drama…but right now…all I’m thinking is, I wanna finally do what I want, I’ll think about the drama/problems later.
I know some may think this is irresponsible…but, I’m tired of living my life for others, and very reserved. I have a fire in my veins that I want to let out, and I don’t want to fear any more, whom I may burn. I wanna live.
Thank You. :D
All my life I have been told what to do…
All my life, I have been alone due to choices or decisions, decided for me.
No one has ever taught me how to decide for myself, or how to choose what is best for me…
I’ve lived the past two decades of my life, making others happy, listening to everyone’s problems, being their when they need someone most, being the best friend I never had.
I’ve lived the cruelty of bullies, of my own demons, of my voices telling me how useless I was, how I am never good enough for anyone or anything, how I don’t deserve the best, but the worst.
So, people shouldn’t be surprised at how quiet I am, of how easily depressed and lonely I am, of how distrusting I am of others, of how hard it is for me to make friends, or how hard it is for me to open up, of how uninspired or unmotivated I am with life.
I’ve been hiding in my glass bubble for two decades, always looking out, with no one looking in. Always on the other side of happiness, always alone, and always isolated from others.
So, now…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to approach my life. I don’t know how to be selfish. I don’t know how to silence the voices. I am confused. And I am alone. I just don’t know what to do now.
Okay, so….my emotions are just everywhere…
I decided on which guy I was gonna go for…but now, the other one is opening up to me more and more and its just getting so…confusing!!
What’s worse is that I saw both of these guys walking together around the place I work, worst part is when they both looked at me at the same time, each one with a different emotion passing through their eyes!
At that moment, I swear I wanted to scream, especially when they both were talking to me…I just…I don’t know anymore!!!!
Opening Credits (8th Gif):
Waking Up (41st Gif):
The Everyday HumDrum (6th Gif):
Falling In Love (18th Gif):
You in a Fight (54th Gif):
You in a Break Up (10th Gif):
Your Drunken State (61st Gif):
Failing to Win Him Back (2nd Gif):
Life Being ‘Okay’ (19th Gif):
Mental Breakdown (15th Gif):
Putting Yourself Back Together Again (21st Gif):
Disaster Strikes the Planet (14th Gif):
The Night Before Going To War (12th Gif):
A Flashback (57th Gif):
Your Deepest Darkest Secret Revealed (28th Gif):
The Final Battle (30th Gif):
The Moment of Triumph: (1st Gif):
Getting Back Together With Your Love (34th Gif):
The Wedding (38th Gif):
An Old Foe Returns (47th Gif):
Your Death Scene (46th Gif):
Your Funeral (5th Gif):
LMAO!! This was interesting lol And somewhat accurate lol
Note to self, if you’re gonna drink a bottle of red wine…drink it slowly or else you’ll black out. In other news…
Entire family is in my house, and I am having a second drinking session.
That time of the year, when I consume more than the comfortable amount of alcohol that I should…
Where I feel the infinite amount of loneliness and depression creep up and take hold of me…
When I realize how vain it is of me to think or feel as if people actually like me as a person.
Or when I stop and remember who I am as in individual and remind myself how much better it is to be alone.
Or alas, when my heart breaks into a million pieces when I feel the lack of warmth in my heart and bones, when I can feel my heart freezing over from the lack of love I never allowed myself to have…
Happy Holidays Everyone, don’t let your inner demons get you, and get you down. Be merry, be happy, and I hope you all get what you want most in life.