I had to gif this!! lol
Decided to make these…because they make me smile :)
Haven’t been that violently mad in a while…one moment I’m flying…
The next moment…(when I see the person to blame on my anger) passes…
…yeah…that person got way into my bad side…
On a good note I ate like a frat guy thanks to all that anger…
I had to…since I feel this way most of the time…and I’m actually surrounded by these kind of people most of the time lol
It sucks, when you really like a guy…but he’s like totally taken…and I’m taking about all the damn bases and the fucking homerun!!
*sigh* Then, I like this other guy…but he’s like painfully shy!! And another guy that looks like him, but he’s very arrogant and way out of my league!
POR QUE!!! Why me!! For once in my love life, can I have someone that I really want!!!!
…better to be proven wrong and learn the hard way, rather than looking at something forever without having a little taste…
I’m not one for compliments, whether its about my work ethic, looks, skills, or whatever…I just can’t stand compliments! I get very…
lol Another thing I don’t like, is getting hit on…it pisses me off and makes me want to scrape my skin off! Especially when its done…disrespectfully!
But in good news, I get to see a very attractive person most days I work, which makes me go from this:
…yeah, I think I still have some issues to work out lol
Now, that I went through that, I look back and realize “Wtf was I thinking?”
Did I really drink that much, cry that much, feel that much?
Did I really consider this guy a good option for me? Knowing full well of his immaturity, narcissism, close mindedness, etc.
Yeah, he was a good guy at heart and meant well…cared deeply and all that shit. But in the end…he didn’t really love me, just cared enough for me to reach out.
lol He was (all in all), a wake up call that I needed! A glimpse of what I’ve been missing out on for too fucking long, a little taste of something I’ve always wanted.
Yeah, I learned the hard way…figuring out the way he truly felt, before my brain decided to cover that shit up…because of that whole love-makes-everything-look-rose-colored-shit…swear to God that shit is real and fucking scary!
But, anywho…glad for that small lesson! Now I need to improve myself, inside and out! Mind, body, emotions…all of it…its scary to realize how much you don’t know about yourself…until you meet someone that points it out to you…and now I dance…
They’re only a few things in this world that get under my skin…to name a few: people testing me, people guilt tripping me, and people insulting me/arguing with me in front of others…and guess which one has been on everyone’s A list…GUILT TRIPPING!
Certain (traditional) people in my family insist that it is my duty/responsibility to care for my mother and handicapped brother…since my mother isn’t legal and my brother cannot care for himself, which is like alright, cool…
BUT! I refuse to take care of a woman (my mother) while she goes out getting in trouble, drinking, fucking, and god knows what else…while I’m paying all her shit like if I was her goddamned husband!!!
I always held my mother in a certain light…because…well…she’s my mother! But now that my eyes have been pried open, my heart folded up in a steel box, and my brain reinforced with stronger wires…I’ve come to realize the evil, sneaky, bitch that my mother is!
She uses me! Used me for her own benefit…without caring how miserable I was. How depressed, or suicidal/homicidal, sleepless, stressed, or just a fucking hair thin piece away from losing my shit! She didn’t care! And now I see, she never cared!
*sigh* I’m sorry! I just had to vent this out, because honestly…I am so done with this shit…I’m tired…tired of playing her games, mind tricks, and all that bullshit. I’m just gonna forget everybody else, and focus on me…because if I don’t soon, I’m gonna lose it…and not in a good way! I’m gonna lose myself, become self destructive, self loathing and all that nasty, horrible, mental shit a person can do to themselves…yeah…I’m done!